I've recently been branded as shallow and materialistic by a certain life coach / motivational speaker whom I had the pleasure of meeting. She read my article "Confessions of a Contest Queen" on the Philippine Star, loved it, and pretty much hounded the Star staff until they gave her my contact details. She emailed me and requested a meeting. I obliged. She was one hour late.
What happened next was a flurry of conversations. I toted along my "contest album" and my Ipod Touch which pretty much showcased what I had been able to accomplish by joining contests. All this led to a second meeting. She wanted me to guest in her TV / internet talk show or something, but all the details were not very clear. I didn't get the point of my being in her show, she wouldn't even give me the exact address of the studio. It was just all so vague, so I backed out.
She was rather hell-bent on getting me there, until I asked her point blank "What's in it for me?". She looked at me wide-eyed as if I had suddenly grown three heads. Her expression was so funny I wanted to laugh, but I restrained myself and kept on giving her that blank, smiling nod she hated so much. She then said "Oh my God! You expect to be paid for being on my show? Do you know how many people are just dying to be on my show?". Uh... I've never even heard of your show, I thought to myself. "No, I don't expect to be paid, " I said calmly. "But how would being on your show possibly benefit me?" She was flabbergasted at my gall. "I've been hailed as another Jay Leno," she continued. She ranted on and on about how great she was and how she would do everything herself on the set... how so many people were really "nagpapakamatay" to be her guest.
Anyhow, she proceeded to explain that her show was her journey, etc., that her show was a deep and profound work that not all people would be able to understand and appreciate. I was pretty lost. I told her when Lifestyle Network asked me to be on their show everything was crystal clear. I can't agree to something so... abstract. Up to the last minute, I still could not comprehend why I was supposed to even be in her show.
In the end, she told me how disappointed she was that I turned out to be "...another one of those writers who could not listen". "It's such a shame because you write so well," were her exact words. She told me I was still in my self-centered, materialistic, me-stage where I always had to get something, etc. She probably gave me a full psychiatric session's worth of psychoanalysis, to which I responded with that blank, smiling nod she hated so much.
I'm not a hypocrite. Just like most other people, I want fame, fortune, and all the niceties that come with these things. I'm just not ashamed to admit it, because I believe in being true to myself. If that is what being shallow and materialistic entails, then yes, maybe I am shallow and materialistic after all.
